Forced Out Of My Shell...And A Trip To The Zoo

Snap shots of Berlin.


You have to visit this church if you come to Berlin.

Megan loves tigers.

This was one beautiful tiger. ^
They dared me to kiss the pig...

So I kissed the pig...and loved it. Of course.

Classic candid moment in the Zoo gift shop. I picked up this snake and Ariel caught me making a disgusted face. It just looked kinda real and I got grossed out all of a sudden.

About 20 minutes after this picture was taken we got a good hard core German rain storm that soaked us to our knees.

rawr...bears galore.


The animals are so active and happy here. They show off a lot. :) ^
This little elephant family was so cute. The daddy kept poking, nuzzling, and wrapping his trunk around the mamma elephants face.


Dancing with a bunch of Greeks. haha. ^

Yes those are Legos. ^
I LOVE BERLIN!!!

Somehow in the last few years I have become a bit more shy than usual. Maybe I have always been a little shy and didn't realize it...but this experience has completely forced me out of my bubble. Having to walk up to a random stranger on the street and ask for directions in a language that you are not fluent in is quite scary. "Wo ist..." has become a regular sentence starter for me.
I am finally adapting to the culture here in Germany. I feel more a part of my surroundings. I am eating the proper way they eat, what they eat, going the places that the locals go, shopping where the locals shop, and to top it off...I can finally read the subway signs in German. I have been traveling around Berlin by myself a lot this week. Today I woke up and my roommates were heading out to visit a castle. I decided to go to the Berlin Zoo with Megan and Ariel, then shop around a bit. It was a blast as you can see. This trip has been a dream come true for me. Right now I am looking out over Berlin. It has been raining so the streets are shiny and wet. The lights are way bright, lots of cars driving around, there is a festival still going on near by, and I can hear music playing. The ten large windows in my living room are fully open and my home smells like fresh rain. We are up on one of the top floors of this massive complex...so when we look out we see not only city but forest area as well. It is beautiful. I don't want to return to the US sadly. Can you believe I am here? I can't. Sometimes I enjoy being here alone while my roommates are out clubbing so I can work a bit and enjoy some down time while looking out over the city.
Happiness is something that we can only create within ourselves. It is easy to find fault in people and look down on other people for whatever differences may exist. The people here have many questions about my religion. The first thing they ask is, "In Greece(Italy,Romania,Spain, etc) we hear that Mormons have lots of wives? And you all live in Utah?"
I always smile when we get this question.
I tell them about the history of our church...and actually how common polygamy was ALL over the world back then. Not just with the Mormons. Everywhere I turn people are asking about Mormonism. My German tutor, Dan, served his mission here in Berlin. I can't imagine how great of a mission it must have been. The people are SO curious! And they are really willing to listen...not to mention feed you until you can't stand any longer. My roots are here in Germany. If I could close my eyes and beam my car, my apartment WITH my roommates (Whit, you don't really have a choice here because it is my wish lol), my job, my comfy bed, Dan (because you have to help translate sometimes, right?), normal soymilk (they don't have it here...theirs is icky)...and just live here for a few semesters...I would do it in a heartbeat.
I just had a talk with a friend about religion and I wanted to jot down a thought...Being LDS is great. I do not, however, like the type of LDS culture that I see in Utah sometimes. While being out here in Europe and seeing so many different types of people and cultures...I am coming to realize there are many opinions that I have which are influenced by culture rather than religion.
My religion practices faith and love and service. Utah has been known to have a high level of depression cases and family issues, sadly. My roommate asked me about strive for perfection...and why there is so much competition in Utah to be the better Mormon, mother and wife or husband. Who has sinned more or less. I didn't have an answer. The only think I knew was that I had only really experienced that in a few wards in the Provo area and once recently in Colorado. It made me sad to hear her perspectives on Mormons because I knew that her perspectives were coming from a few encounters with a few extremest in Utah. How can I show her that not all LDS and not all Utah Mormons are extremest? Tell her I have a past too? Tell her I feel inadequate sometimes? Tell her I am divorced...and in Provo it doesn't get a whole lot worse than that? I decided that I would set the record strait and just show her that I am different by standing by my words. Thus the reason I didn't go clubbing tonight (or ever on this trip) with the crew. By befriending her when the others aren't interested. By letting her talk to me about her frustrations with the LDS church without using judgement or bias. We talked for a few hours and made mountains of progress. Today was an interesting day...full of deep conversations, empowering decisions, and a severe lack of sleep. :)
I have a very strong testimony of the Gospel. All that matters is family, love, obtaining knowledge, loving your neighbor, and holding true to your values and the things that you know to be true. I told my friend that we all make mistakes and sometimes learn things the hard way...but that is WHY we have the Gospel...because when we do things that aren't good for us we have somewhere to turn for comfort and for answers. I think people get depressed because they feel inadequate and unwelcome or unwanted/needed. There is a purpose for each living thing on this earth. My friend has a role here and I am supposed to learn something from her. Maybe her from me.
I believe we are all setting a profound example to someone...even when no one is technically looking. Sometimes we have to step out of our boxes and force ourselves out of our shells to do things that are good for us. Like pulling out a map and getting on a random bus with full faith that you will be able to find your way back home.
Gute Nacht.

A Major Decision.

Well...the major decision that I made...was choosing my major.

Drum roll bitte! (please)



Bio Mechanical Engineering.

ta da!
I couldn't decide between doing something mechanical or doing something medical...so I did a little research, combined the two options, did a little more research, and made a decision.
It looks like I will be transferring to a new University in the near future because my school doesn't have the program I want or need for my new major. Hurray!! Some direction! Hurray!!
It looks like I am going to become a piano playing, Deutsch speaking, bio mechanical engineer who MAY decide to go international...watch out!

I Lost My Heart In Heidelberg.

Clearly the trip to Heidelberg area was a dream come true. My camera couldn't capture all of the amazing things that I saw.
Europeans are known for being a bit "overly affectionate" in public, well, at least compared to our conservative American perspective they are. I had a bit of culture shock when I arrived in Berlin. I was mostly uncomfortable with the free-love style culture. Today while sitting on the U-,bahn (subway) on my way home from school, I noticed a couple standing against the wall of the train kissing like it was the last time they were to see each other again. They were alone on the subway as far as they were concerned. I tried not to stare as they gazed into each others eyes and only their hands and noses touched. My first thought was, "oh gag me."
My second thought was, "Am I jealous?" And I think I was.
I gave them a second glance and had to smile. The boy couldn't stop kissing her forehead and brushing his nose against hers in a playful puppy way as she beamed while looking into his eyes. I noticed how gently they held each other and how sweetly she pulled his chin in for another kiss.
The train seemed to slow down as I quite awkwardly watched them hold each other. So desperately. I had to wonder if they were like this all the time, or if the upcoming train stop would be a final goodbye. My heart went out to them, even if it wasn't goodbye. "I hope you stay like that forever," I thought. Though I do not agree with a lot of PDA I found their affection refreshing. I looked around the train and noticed couples sitting side by side, reading papers, looking out the window, or staring and the ground in complete silence. If not for the wedding bands you would never know they were together.
I think we are uncomfortable with things that we do not know or understand. Things that confuse us make us feel awkward so we shut them out.
Someone who seems overly happy or overly anxious and excited about life seems strange and awkward. Someone who smiles at us on the street must want something so we quickly look away. Someone is having a hard day and we avoid them in hopes that their bad luck wont rub off on us. This has been an eye opening experience for me in many different ways.
I have met people in the last few months who made me think, "have you ever had a bad day in your life?! How can I even relate to you?"
Here is the key...I don't have to.
I have learned that it is okay to accept that other people may or may not have been through experiences as tough and wild as mine. People experience different kinds of pain in their lives and at different times of their lives. We don't plan for these things, but death, divorce, infertility, and heartach are prevalent.
I have opened up my heart to understanding and meeting a lot of new different people. Trying to understand what their beliefs are and where they are coming from.
Making friends from Sweden, Holland, France, Germany, Italy, and Australia has really helped with that. I feel more free when my mind is open to understanding diffrerent cultures rather than gasping at the sight of a young couple showing affection on the street.
Now, there are still the Turks who actually do sick stuff on the street to demonstrate...whatever they are trying to demonstrate...but I am not talking about that. I am talking about the subway make out. The in between classes make out in the hall. The nussling of noses at every opportunity.
Things that normally make us think, "ohhh come on! Here?"
Yes. Here. There. Anywhere.
There is so much negativity and hate in the world right now. Seeing the concentration camps this week shook me to the core. The things that hate can do to our world astounds me.
Maybe it is okay to loose your heart completely. To hand it over to someone in full faith that they will take care of it and never get tired of having it.
The word for "always" in German is "Immer". Ich liebe Sie immer. How sweet.
My heart is so full of love and excitement about this Journey that I am on.
I can't believe the goals on my list that have already been accomplished.
Never ever do drugs. (Goal list from when I was 8 years old) Check
Always love- no matter what (8 years old) Check
Remember Jesus and God. (8 yrs old) Check
Read the Book of Mormon. (10 year old list) Check
Get braces on by age 21. (age 10) check
Meet my family in Germany (age 10) CHECK
Go to College. Get an education. (Age 12) Check
Don't get fat when you go to College like everyone else does. (Goal set at age 15) Check
Go to Germany to see where I come from. (17 years old) CHECK
Learn German so I can speak to my family. (22 years old) In the works...(half check)

Next on my list...

Learn the piano well enough to write a song expressing my testimony and play it in church. (goal set at age 14. I added the testimony part at age 22) (Status...I signed up for lessons next semester at my University.)

And after that...I am not saying yet. One thing at a time. :)
When I get back to the US my focus will be on school, work, and piano...and hopefully more private German lessons since I am not taking a class next semester.

My heart is here, in Germany, with my family, my roots, and the amazing scenary that currently surrounds me. I am excited to see what the rest of the semester will bring.

Make a goal list. Check it twice.
Don't worry about who's being naughty or nice.
Focus on you and start doing the things your heart desires. Enjoy your Journey.

Best Weekend In Germany

My mom's cousin...she had soo many stories about my family!

One of the Palace Gardens

On the way back from Heidelberg.


My favorite picture ever...It was amazing here.

Here is where my great grandmother is buried. In Germany you have to pay rent to keep her tombstone in place. Hers was removed but she is still here. I felt so cool being there and seeing where my family grew up...and where my Omi met my Papa. :)


One sleepy looking princess!

I lost my heart in Heidelberg. :) Well...kinda.





On my cousins porch.

My great aunt. She misses my Omi so much!

So, we finally meet.
I have always dreamt of meeting my family here in Europe. You wouldn't believe the weekend I had. Here is a small snapshot of what I was able to experience thanks to my Heavenly Father. I was able to connect with my family on a deep level in only 2 days. They want me to move here permanently and I am considering it. This was a dream come true.

Hello Dresden...

Dresden, Germany


^Germany is smothered with colorful flowers.



^My first train ride.


lol Julia is so fun to travel with.

Tourists...clearly we are American lol. ^

The goofiest glasses ever...Cheezers!

Typical Scott. I was so happy to be in Dresden.

Do we look European?? Do we?

lol. Scott reminds me of my best friend Dave. SO funny!

Pfanne^

Waiting for a train. ^

^ It is beautiful here.

We have each others backs. ^

^ Berlin Mitte.

^Most of their cross walks look like this one. Except in Dresden. The little people are women. :)

^Lets Joust. "Why are you smiling?", "Because I know something you do not know."
"And what is that?", "I am not left handed!" ahhhhaha.

^ON GUARD!! Ahhh.

My mamma loves these angels!

^I love these two.


SO much history here.

Everything was firebombed during the war. They are still trying to rebuild and strengthen old architecture.

I could sit up there all day.^ v


The horses are HUGE here.


Everyone wears scarves...you just do...and it makes sense, actually.

This means...I love you. ^

Pic from my first train ride. I loved it.


It was Melissa's birthday. ^


Playing bball with the crew. Crazy Americans!! Everyone stares at us when we go out. We are catching on to their customs though. :)
Next week I will have pictures from Switzerland and who knows...maybe Italy. A group of us are going to England one of these weekends. Most pics are on my facebook account. These are just a few of my favorite moments.
What an adventure...
Told you I would do it.