I Lost My Heart In Heidelberg.

Clearly the trip to Heidelberg area was a dream come true. My camera couldn't capture all of the amazing things that I saw.
Europeans are known for being a bit "overly affectionate" in public, well, at least compared to our conservative American perspective they are. I had a bit of culture shock when I arrived in Berlin. I was mostly uncomfortable with the free-love style culture. Today while sitting on the U-,bahn (subway) on my way home from school, I noticed a couple standing against the wall of the train kissing like it was the last time they were to see each other again. They were alone on the subway as far as they were concerned. I tried not to stare as they gazed into each others eyes and only their hands and noses touched. My first thought was, "oh gag me."
My second thought was, "Am I jealous?" And I think I was.
I gave them a second glance and had to smile. The boy couldn't stop kissing her forehead and brushing his nose against hers in a playful puppy way as she beamed while looking into his eyes. I noticed how gently they held each other and how sweetly she pulled his chin in for another kiss.
The train seemed to slow down as I quite awkwardly watched them hold each other. So desperately. I had to wonder if they were like this all the time, or if the upcoming train stop would be a final goodbye. My heart went out to them, even if it wasn't goodbye. "I hope you stay like that forever," I thought. Though I do not agree with a lot of PDA I found their affection refreshing. I looked around the train and noticed couples sitting side by side, reading papers, looking out the window, or staring and the ground in complete silence. If not for the wedding bands you would never know they were together.
I think we are uncomfortable with things that we do not know or understand. Things that confuse us make us feel awkward so we shut them out.
Someone who seems overly happy or overly anxious and excited about life seems strange and awkward. Someone who smiles at us on the street must want something so we quickly look away. Someone is having a hard day and we avoid them in hopes that their bad luck wont rub off on us. This has been an eye opening experience for me in many different ways.
I have met people in the last few months who made me think, "have you ever had a bad day in your life?! How can I even relate to you?"
Here is the key...I don't have to.
I have learned that it is okay to accept that other people may or may not have been through experiences as tough and wild as mine. People experience different kinds of pain in their lives and at different times of their lives. We don't plan for these things, but death, divorce, infertility, and heartach are prevalent.
I have opened up my heart to understanding and meeting a lot of new different people. Trying to understand what their beliefs are and where they are coming from.
Making friends from Sweden, Holland, France, Germany, Italy, and Australia has really helped with that. I feel more free when my mind is open to understanding diffrerent cultures rather than gasping at the sight of a young couple showing affection on the street.
Now, there are still the Turks who actually do sick stuff on the street to demonstrate...whatever they are trying to demonstrate...but I am not talking about that. I am talking about the subway make out. The in between classes make out in the hall. The nussling of noses at every opportunity.
Things that normally make us think, "ohhh come on! Here?"
Yes. Here. There. Anywhere.
There is so much negativity and hate in the world right now. Seeing the concentration camps this week shook me to the core. The things that hate can do to our world astounds me.
Maybe it is okay to loose your heart completely. To hand it over to someone in full faith that they will take care of it and never get tired of having it.
The word for "always" in German is "Immer". Ich liebe Sie immer. How sweet.
My heart is so full of love and excitement about this Journey that I am on.
I can't believe the goals on my list that have already been accomplished.
Never ever do drugs. (Goal list from when I was 8 years old) Check
Always love- no matter what (8 years old) Check
Remember Jesus and God. (8 yrs old) Check
Read the Book of Mormon. (10 year old list) Check
Get braces on by age 21. (age 10) check
Meet my family in Germany (age 10) CHECK
Go to College. Get an education. (Age 12) Check
Don't get fat when you go to College like everyone else does. (Goal set at age 15) Check
Go to Germany to see where I come from. (17 years old) CHECK
Learn German so I can speak to my family. (22 years old) In the works...(half check)

Next on my list...

Learn the piano well enough to write a song expressing my testimony and play it in church. (goal set at age 14. I added the testimony part at age 22) (Status...I signed up for lessons next semester at my University.)

And after that...I am not saying yet. One thing at a time. :)
When I get back to the US my focus will be on school, work, and piano...and hopefully more private German lessons since I am not taking a class next semester.

My heart is here, in Germany, with my family, my roots, and the amazing scenary that currently surrounds me. I am excited to see what the rest of the semester will bring.

Make a goal list. Check it twice.
Don't worry about who's being naughty or nice.
Focus on you and start doing the things your heart desires. Enjoy your Journey.